


Watching

by trashmage



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashmage/pseuds/trashmage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the dead of night, Karkat stumbles upon something he'd never wanted to see, and yet finds himself unable to look away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a bit of an experimental thing I did in the wee hours of the morning, most of which was typed up on my friend's Skype window. I'm still not sure what to say about it, other than that I'm sort of happy with how it turned out? I also find it funny how, even though I have at least five other Homestuck fics going, this is both the last one I started and the first one I've finished; all in one sitting. Huh.
> 
> Karkat's PoV, by the way.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy?

You acted like everything was normal when I saw you this morning--like it was a normal fucking day, and you were just going about your normal fucking daily activities.

What the fuck is 'normal', anyway? We're stuck on a fucking asteroid in the middle of nowhere, and everyone is losing their minds, if they hadn't already long before we got stuck on this rock.

And yet there you are when I shout your stupid name, giving me that stupid grin of yours; the one that makes me want to introduce your jaw to my fist, like WHOOPS I SWEAR IT DIDN'T MEAN TO BANG YOU THAT HARD, and then maybe I'd even apologize like I actually meant it.

But you don't know that I fucking saw you last night.

Maybe it was my own fault, sure, I guess, for fucking walking around the place and refusing to sleep, but I saw.

I saw him shove you up against the wall in that dark hallway, with just enough light to barely illuminate the both of you, but not enough to reach the corner I hid behind, watching, like a fucking coward.

I saw how you didn't try to push him away; readily wrapping your scrawny fucking arms around his neck, and accepting his tongue into your mouth without a second thought.

Do you have any idea how fucking _disgusting_ that was?

The two of you are supposed to hate each other. You're supposed to hate him as platonically as fucking _possible_ \--but that's just it, isn't it?

'Fucking possible'.

And yeah, you sure are fucking him alright. Or I guess, letting him fuck you.

Maybe I shouldn't be the one to complain, I should have just left and not looked anymore, but _god fucking damnit Sollux, he could have killed you_. He could have picked any moment to do it, and have done it easily, because you were _so_ out of your mind with it that I don't know how you had focus enough to say any of the things you did.

None of which I am ever going to repeat even to myself, because oh my fucking god there are some things a guy should NEVER know about his moirail.

How hard you want fishbreath to fuck you is _definitely_ one of those things.

I didn't watch because I got off on it--fuck that, I went back to my room and spent nearly ten minutes throwing _up_ when it was over. I stayed because you're a fucking idiot, and I don't trust him with you for a second.

You couldn’t see the way he was looking at you—you were oblivious. But even if you could, I doubt you would have done anything about it.

Damnit, he was looking at you like a piece of meat! Like an object, like something to be taken and conquered. …Which, I guess, is what he was doing. And if you’re okay with that then so be it, your fucking problem. But the last I checked, I thought this shit was about equality, and about getting some fucking respect.

Then again, I guess you kind of make it easy for him; blind as a bat and even more defenseless, and he’s the one that fucking did this to you.

Even I have trouble finding something to respect in that.

But still…I learned more about you last night than I have from anything you’ve ever told me personally. How fair is that? And how fucking retarded is it that I even give a shit?

I spent almost the entire time watching you; watching the way you would grip his shoulders so tightly that that disgusting fucking purple would well up around your claws, watching the way your back would arch and spasm under his hands. Watching anything and everything you did. Not because I wanted to, but because it was either you or him; and the only thing preventing the look in his eyes from being downright _terrifying_ , was how fucking much you were obviously enjoying yourself.

It was horrifying.

And yet strangely mesmerizing.

Who’d have thought that you of all people could look like that? And because of that fucking douchebag, no less?

I’d never have guessed you could scream like that, either. It sent my mind reeling as I turned and hurried back to my room, trying to retain the bile bubbling up in my throat. Even without looking I could _hear_ how good you felt. But I could also hear the pain, and what sounded almost like, of all things, despair.

But I’m not going to question it. You’ll tell me on your own, when you’re ready. I hope. I mean, you fucking better—otherwise what’s the point of having me around in the first place?

I’ll be waiting for you to come tell me what the fuck is going on with this, so that I can have the chance to talk you the fuck out of it. Whatever ‘it’ even is. If this becomes a thing then I swear to fucking god Sollux, you will never hear the end of this from me. Not until that nooksniffer inevitably gets your retarded ass killed.

But for now, until then, I’ll settle for planting a hand right in the middle of your stupid, unsuspecting face, and shoving you away until you stumble; only as gently as I need to.

And I only feel a _little_ bit guilty when your dumbass grin crumbles into a look of confusion as I walk away.

You don’t know what you did wrong, after all.


End file.
